SELF-CARE GUILT BE GONE

So many of my clients and readers identified with a previous newsletter about eliminating activities that did not excite them. Things they thought were obligations and the constant “should-ing” they found themselves doing. While you were ready to let those things go, one nasty little demon kept creeping into your mind as you began to take action… guilt.

Guilt seems to be a part of our culture and it’s almost like we all take a subconscious class in the art of guilting ourselves over a million things, especially the things that fall in the self-care category. We think “who am I to take time to read a book,” say “no thank you” to your 5th request for your time, or schedule time for a massage or manicure?’ Well why not do those things? Many of us feel undeserving, unworthy or like we haven’t “earned” time for ourselves. Maybe somewhere along the way you took on the belief that other people deserve to be healthy, happy, wealthy or do nice things for themselves buy not you. Everyone else, but not you. Something about you is unworthy or undeserving. I have begun to challenge that belief myself and have realized that I was wrong and that there isn’t anything I have done or not done that makes me unworthy of my own self-care.

In addition to guilt, we also do not want to upset the apple cart, rock the boat or make anyone upset with us. There is an epidemic of “people-pleasing” going on and we need to gently put an end to it. The world will still spin and kind people will understand if you need to decline. You need to do what is best for you and your family and it is OK to do so. And really, so what if someone gets upset with us? That’s their deal and heaven only knows what is causing their reaction, but it is theirs, not yours. Everything will be fine, go on and take a bath, have lunch with a friend or schedule a facial.

Discovering the origin of your self-care guilt is important, and taking a bit of time to do so will be worth a gander. Once you know where it is coming from, you can gently begin dismantling faulty beliefs and move through and beyond them.