Raise your paw if can be an over-thinker.
*raises own paw* and thanks dog there’s been improvement 😉
For me that generally looks like trying to figure out all the things so I know how to be.
Scanning rooms, running scenarios, reading body language and facial expressions.
This started in 4th grade when I broke my leg and had to stay home a lot because it’s hard to ride bike and play kickball with friends with a cast on up to my groin.
I noticed more of what was going on at home.
Drunk parents + fights = my hypervigilance.
And even though those patterns were etched in my brain at an early age for protection and survival, cuz that’s what brains do, I can change them.
That’s the beauty of neuroplasticity.
It means our brains are wired for change.
Even if we’ve done something for 40 years.
So when my brain wants to go back to its habitual ways of hypervigilance, I can ask myself a simple question, while mustering up all the self-compassion possible.
I keep having to revisit self-compassion because it’s not my norm.
Compassion for others? Heck yes! All day, every day.
Self? Nope. Should’ve known better, should be doing better by now, etc.
The question cuts though the spinning gerbil wheel my brain can turn into when I’m in flight, flight or freeze.
The question is, how do I want to show up?
And start practicing that.
Start small. Kitten steps.
How do I want to show up with my dogs, while I’m drinking my coffee, when I’m eating lunch?
Once that becomes fluid, you can move onto something ‘bigger.’
How do I want to show up with my kids when they’re having a fit at bedtime, when my partner doesn’t ask me about my day, when my boss freaks out on me?
Compassion + “how do I want to show up?” = moving in the direction you want.
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